Personality Tests - I'm an INFP

Hey everyone,

I know I haven't created an obligatory "introduction" post yet, so I'll make sure I do that soon. Right now, I'd just like to share a tidbit of information about me...

I've always been the type of person who tries to analyze who I am, and why I am the way I am. I've taken (inaccurate) personality tests here and there for years now, and have never really found a test that actually made sense. The other day, I was browsing someone's blog, and came across one of his personal posts. In that post, I read that he describes himself as an INTJ (introverted intuitive thinking judging). He had a link to what exactly what that meant, and I was able to read about what type of people INTJs are. I read the whole description and thought I share a few of the same traits (as far as the introversion, and intuitiveness). I decided to take the free Myers-Briggs personality test for myself to see if I can get a near accurate evaluation. Instead of reading the normal inaccurate or nonsensical write up, I found that this test seemed very... scholarly, if that makes sense. I felt that this website had legit explanations and statistics, and examples to what the 16 personality profiles were. The test took me about 10 minutes, and it had a decent amount of questions that really allows the test taker to evaluate their experiences and thoughts when it came to certain situations. I took the test, and my results state that I am an INFP (introverted intuitive feeling prospecting). Check out everything I've pasted from the website and read all about the personality of an INFP.

INFPs are categorized under one of four type groups, the Diplomats. Here is a description:

"Type Groups:

A group of Intuitive and Feeling personality types – Diplomats focus on empathy and cooperation, shining in diplomacy and counselling. People belonging to this type group are cooperative and imaginative, often playing the role of harmonizers in their workplace or social circles. These traits make Diplomats warm, empathic and influential individuals, but also cause issues when there is a need to rely exclusively on cold rationality or make difficult decisions".

Then, there is a breakdown of the personality traits (the I, N, F, and P of INFP). There are four categories of traits: Mind, Energy, Nature, and Tactics.

"Personality traits explained:

Mind:

Introverted (I) – prefer solitary activities, think before speaking, get exhausted by social interaction.

Energy:

Intuitive (N) – imaginative, rely on their intuition, absorbed in ideas, focus on what might happen.

Nature:

Feeling (F) – sensitive, follow their hearts, focus on harmony and cooperation.

Tactics:

Prospecting (P) – very good at improvising, prefer keeping their options open, relaxed about their work, seek freedom."

This last trait has nothing to do with the type groups or the personality traits. I believe I possess more of a turbulent identity.

"Identity:

(no effect on the type name)

Assertive – emotionally stable, calm, relaxed, refuse to worry too much.

Turbulent – self-conscious, care about their image, success-driven, perfectionists."

Here's the link to the website!!

 http://www.16personalities.com/INFP-personality

I personally feel that this has helped me better understand my personality. I've been questioned and judged my whole life because I was always shy and introverted. I never liked large social gatherings, ESPECIALLY parties (another reason is because I don't enjoy mainstream music, nor do I like dancing to it... even though I can't really dance anyway). Since I never liked mainstream music, people thought (and still think) I'm weird. Whenever I had to go anywhere, I usually brought a book or my Gameboy Color and later my Nintendo DS... so I was a bookworm and a video game lover, and I also loved playing chess and was on my school's bowling team, since I'm not athletic (so I was basically a geek to the general public). I HATE being the center of attention, and I've always preferred being in the background. I am very open and loving towards the general public, but I always keep a distance. With my friends and family, I am extremely affectionate and chatty, but at the same time, I don't like to share a lot of information about me (only very few people know my "life story"). My greatest form of communication has always been through my writing, as I've been a writer/poet ever since I was in grade school. It is very difficult for me to completely express myself when speaking to people, because I need to make sure I thoroughly think my words through. I often stutter or mumble when speaking, especially when put on the spot. My teachers from grade school until high school have made sure to tell my parents that I need to speak up more in class. Whenever I do, I keep my explanations short and I try my hardest to get to the point without confusing anyone (because when I get nervous, my words become jumbled and I'd have to explain what I'm trying to talk about over and over again). 

I'm actually a music industry major in college, and a lot of people have questioned why I have chosen the music industry as a career goal. They know that I am a quiet, timid, unassertive young woman, so they think that I need to toughen up before I get into the field. I've known about these clashes for a long time now, and I agree that I do need to become more assertive. I'm just a pushover!! Haha. In the music industry (I'm referencing more of the business aspect, like becoming a manager or CEO of a record label), the major way people advance is by networking. For the most part, I know how to network, because I feel that I am an open person (to an extent). It is quite easy for me to introduce myself and speak to new people. It is just a bit harder because I still get nervous and make sure I have whole paragraphs planned out in my head, or else I shut down... and don't even ask me about interviews!!! It's just rough. I think the only things that have allowed me to be a friendly and open person is my "feeling" nature. I am an extremely sensitive person, and I despise confrontation. I can always find the good in people, and I just wish for peace and harmony. This has actually allowed me to adapt to difficult situations, because I've been able to make myself understand or relate to very different individuals. It's a bit easier for me to find something in a person that I can relate to, so I can help them to feel a bit more comfortable with me. I have no idea how, but it has saved my butt and allowed me to establish friendships I'd never thought I'd have.

I also am a person that is very deep into their thoughts. I like to say that I have a vivid imagination, and I always think into the future. I always think of the consequences to every single action I take, and even though many of my actions result in me either being broke or under pressure to complete something, I try to stay away from the "shoulda woulda coulda" mindset. I know that it is too late after I've done something or gone somewhere. I tend to keep moving and think about the next steps that I could potentially make. I feel that I am sort of a free spirit, and I am never dead set on one decision. I always keep my options open, because there's plenty of other things that could happen within a short amount of time. I just recently started making a schedule for organization purposes, but that isn't really working. Since I tend to go with the flow, I often forget about the things that I really should be doing or the places I have to go. I'm working on that, though. Such is the life of an INFP!

Thanks for taking the time to read a little bit about me!

Black Palatte - by Meesh (completed 5/5/14)

Hello everyone. I believe this is my “deepest/most personal” poem to date. It’s one of my favorites. Enjoy!

When I come around, I pretend I don’t hear the sounds

Or see the looks of general curiosity

Parts of me want to shout and say

"I know who I am, and that’s okay"

But it’s not… because I don’t

Growing up, I claimed my Cherokee heritage

Even though there is no substantial proof

I was also told I could be German

And yeah, Cuban too

Possibly Jamaican,  due to daddy’s locks that were shaking

And my height that came to match

Early on I didn’t catch

The pain my mother would hatch

When she’d mention her dark complexion

Compared to my dad, so she became sad

I didn’t understand, what I am or where I be

It was hard to perceive  the general  complexity

Of race, class, gender, and creed

Dark skin vs light skin-did was always the talk

Dark skins can’t get a job, light skins selfied while they walked

Light skins won’t call back but dark skins would be accused of attack

Why can’t we just all be considered BLACK?

Why do we separate, even if the palette of our families don’t match?

Yeah, technically we aren’t BLACK, but you know what I mean

Since African American is a term that most of us feel demeans

Our actual “place” in this world not full of grace… 

it’s a disgrace we can’t be embraced

Equally unequal is the status of the hood

Because where justice stood,  people were behaving like they outta not be good

You know how the children’s story goes, people killing, money woes

Black on black crime, because we can’t make up our minds

I know the media blows this all out of proportion

We’re not all bad, and we don’t just need coercion

We need our mothers and fathers, or grannies and uncles

We need to love ourselves first, to get out of this curse

And just because I’m black, doesn’t mean I’m a “nigga”

I’m not ignorant, low, or beneath you, and your 6 figures

And in my headphones I bop to not just Hip Hop

I love bachata, classical, and rock,

who knew?

My first musical loves:

Led Zeppelin

And The Legendary Roots crew

The color of my skin is not an accurate representation of my musical choices

It does not equate to the  way my vernacular swirls and swings and the way my flow rejoices

And I’m proud to say I know where I come from

I took a little test on Ancestry.com

I’m 3/4 West African… Togo, Cameroon, and Senegal

Admixed like the rest of America and beyond

Unlike my brothas and sistas who just know they’re descendants from slaves

I can say I’ve paid my way to understanding where I may have come from that day

It’s a privilege for a black person to find these things out

But whites are born and bred to speak aloud how they came about

I’ve never met someone who looks like me, 

to say I can trace my family history

Although both sides of family say “we came from down south”

That wasn’t good enough for me, so I took it upon myself to erase the doubt

What am I? Who am I? Where in Africa has my family been?

Were they from Ghana, Mali, Benin?

Where else did they breed? Great Britain, Ireland, are they Portuguese?

Turns out all of these, my bloodline did trace back for me

I remain Black and proud, no matter what is in my blood

And know some doubters won’t understand, it’s all good

This wasn’t for you, nor the benefit of the black race

Not for the people who’ve spit in my face

Neglecting the fact I can overcome

The fact that I can, I will, I’ve won

Someday I’ll meet the people of these places

So I can get a good look at my traces

And start a movement to get us all involved

In discovering our roots, no perming at all. 

Tuesday - by Meesh (2012)

Like a CD you’ve never heard of

I want to be thought of as acceptable

Think of me as something new, something worth listening to

Don’t download me online, or just get the singles.

I want you to buy me, the hard copy, spend your hard earned money on me,

become my friend because you WANT to

Desire to hear the tracks that correspond to my life

I want to be played and played again until you finally understand the lyrics

Feel my beat and clap your hands to my positive energy

Or cry along with me to my somber negativity

Cherish me like your favorite artist,

Or just your favorite song

And read my liner notes and appreciate my cover art as you go along

Press play when you want to hear me because I’ll always be by your side

Pause when desired because I might get too excited and skip a track or two

Stop me if I make a mistake of if you don’t want to hear me anymore

If I get too scratched up, wipe me off and put me back in my case, be the good friend that you’re supposed to be and tell me it’ll be ok

I’m willing to stop spinning from time to time anyway

Treat me like a CD you’ve never heard before

Think of me as something that’ll change what you listen to on the radio

Make sure you read my warning label though:

I am different, and I am my own genre

With a touch of conscious Hip Hop, a dash of Alt Rock and Jazz

No, WAIT! I’m a bit of everything, but don’t categorize me as a “subgenre” or an “other”

I have plenty of live instruments and a couple of synths in my later tracks, like The Roots

So I can appeal to most crowds…

Well, that’s if you buy me…

I may not have flashy album artwork

My skits aren’t always the funniest

And my tracks may not be brilliantly sequenced

But they’ve been strategically placed

So I can make friends that will only relate to certain songs, or certain parts of the album

I want a friend that cherishes me,

That hears me in their sleep

That thinks of my unique cadences, and hums them subconsciously

I want a friend that thinks of me as a CD that has never been heard before

Hear the timbre of the instruments I choose and jokingly say “of course you would “

Because I refuse to sound like another album

And play the same old songs over and over again like the radio does

And you know, I’m not made for the radio anyway

The radio doesn’t deserve me

I don’t possess one hit wonders

Nor do I spread worthless, misogynistic, mind numbing blunders

I do not turn up

My motto isn’t YOLO

I just have the music that makes your mind go

And make decisions that will keep you alive

Instead of doing stunts, getting drunk, smokin’ blunts that will tar up your mind

Soul and body, probably.

Just treat me like a CD you’ve never heard before

But don’t listen to me once and throw me away.

I’m a deluxe  edition with hidden bonus tracks

That can only be heard after a few playbacks.

Away - by Meesh (summer 2013)

You keep letting me walk away as if I am a/stray, with ashes from my rim down to my decisions that cloud up my revisions of marking my territory, finding solitude in the caves and alleyways of the gray city… 

Bumpin in the urban, to music, undeservin of the way life throws its curves, swerves, and has the nerve

To treat me as the one kind who is unkindly.

I’m binding my spine to the pages of this half ass, dog eared book we call life…

Once the pages start flying away we

Get blinded with a smack in the face and disgraced with the dripping words that have been misplaced…

As if I were a G where an E shouldn’t B… ♭, is my stomach…

I don’t want it…

Just to be spiteful might do for you

But there’s ne’er a clue that leads to the great Blue I the sky; in the chair actually,

But you sent me away so there’s no factual truth…

In my image you’ve been created… But you sent me away, so where are you?

Why I - by Meesh (2013)

This poem is the result of a poetry workshop from my old college. We had to write about an issue that angers us the most. In this poem, I took the stance of a young street soldier.

Why ?

Why does momma cry and the tears from her eyes hide the hate and crime I omit to the sky?

If I were her I’d quit, give up on this

This ain’t a life to live at all

From the womb I was destined to fall

Into the hands

Of

The hood

Or as we call it

The HOOD

Because we like covering ourselves from the real world

All we think we got is a gat,  some hats, and a pack of blacks

Think it’ll make everything better, just light up, shoot, and look for the next piece to dig, ya dig?

Why?

Well its simple

Why I do this

For thrills

That my homies get after I overcome the chills

I dont wanna do this

But I know this life I take won’t have to suffer no more

Why I say that?

Cuz its true.

I wanna pull the trigger on myself sometimes

But I’m too scared to do it

In school… Before I left… They said guns are hatred

But I love my gun, it makes people happy

Like I said before, they won’t suffer no more

And plus, its the only thing that loves me…

Why?

Because I know my gun in someone else’s hand is gonna love me too one day.

Hopefully when I turn 13, that’s my lucky number… 

untitled - by Meesh (2013)

My forlorn soul is full of light and color

But this life I live remains in black and white

Day by day this world gets duller

So with much difficulty I stay in the fight

Speeding down from pain and aching from hunger

I lumber and wonder when I can finally slumber

There’s no ceasing , at least in this place

This is the fate that I have no choice but face

My enemy, or, my friend as he

Lifted his grip while he said to me

"You fool, no one will try to change in this world"

Irate, I say “I can try, for I am a changing girl”

To change the world we first change  in our heart

To start we leave our mark by taking that first step in the dark

Our footprints will always remain, even if they’re washed away

For the earth knows what wonders you’ve done today

You and Me(dia) - by Meesh (2012)

Blinded by an iron curtain that really isn’t there

Unblock your ears and listen, so you can be aware.

There’s one thing I have to ask you:

What are you normally hearing?

Are you deaf, bored, are thoughts not appearing?

There’s something that always gets me,

something they always say,

"There’s nothing safe out there," yet

"it helps your health, don’t fray!"

"Keep your distance, be aware, "while

"Oh, it’s the best place to get paid!"

Contradictions, my friend, is all it creates

Every morning, afternoon, late

And subtle words that pass your ears

were powerful, but of course they made sneers that destroy the years

of fighting, struggling, blood, sweat and tearing

Leaving all that faded, erased, they became jaded

Claim to be all knowing, ignorance is what’s showing

Sliding thru their teeth, at least,

Can you show some grief?

They’re working, their tactics,

of hypnotizing… the fact is:

You twist and turn, shout, block the truth and never learn

that their efforts aren’t worth your time.

Solitude - by Meesh (2013)

Deep - pressed is the status of my heart

Low and heavy weight brings it down to the depths of despair

I try to seek refuge in sun’s shining rays

But all I can find is a shadow following my every move

Questions upon doubts upon sadness upon grief

What kind of world is this?

Should I even bother?

Meesh's Wrap - by Meesh (2013)

Lol I thought I was a rapper in this one.

Shadowboxing with the freaks of the night

What a sight, but I’m not in fright

I quickly rip thru the pages of their lady like-

Tactics of practice, no gymnastics but I stretch these fingers alright

Writing is so deadly that its ghost type

Outta control, don’t know what hap-pens with ease

Homies

Don’t squeeze your grip so tight, ain’t no orange juice where I be

I float between the lines

Fly between the keys

Hover over your rhymes, I see no one’s deader than me

I killed the skill a long time ago

Wrote all the best rhymes, you know

My vivid and livid imagery killed me, my time to go

Control Response - by Meesh (done right after "Control" came out, 2013)

Soooooo I made my own response to Kendrick Lamar’s verse on Big Sean’s freestyle song “Control”. But I’m not a rapper. Lol!

Its the sign o the times

Yeah I’m crowning

Claimed King of New York?

Nah, King of Clowning

Jester, look, you ain’t seminal

You in the dark ages,

Ya can’t see me now

Or hear me

I’m The Low End Theory to your Confessions 3

Boomin in your jeep with the

lower frequency’s

Got the Vibes and Stuff, like me,

so only the free can see

How to be at peace when you’re Resting

in B E A ..T’s Hirt, in Harlem, like Al, Hendoo I’ll lend you a couple of pa-pows hahow